Momming Is Hard — And Repair Matters Most

“Rupture and repair. That’s the cycle of parenting,” my therapist once told me.

At first, it sounded clinical. But then it hit me: of course rupture happens in any relationship — especially the parent-child one. It’s inevitable. What truly matters is the repair.

Without repair, the damage festers. It deepens. It settles into both hearts. But when we choose to go back — to apologize, to reconnect, to soften — that’s where healing lives. That simple truth gave me the permission I didn’t know I needed: to have grace for myself.

Even in my most imperfect moments as a mom, I am reminded that the redemption I experience through Christ is still available to me — and to my children — within our relationship. God doesn’t shy away from repair. That’s literally what Christ came to do. His mission was reconciliation: to restore what was broken, to reconnect us to Himself.

And through Him, we’re empowered to do the same — even when we don’t get it right the first (or fourth) time.

We’re the ones learning how to say, “I was wrong,” “I got too loud,” or “I’m still learning.” Many of us grew up in homes where authority was prized over connection, and the goal was well-behaved kids — not emotionally secure ones. And while those before us were doing the best they could with what they knew, we now know more. And we can offer grace in both directions.

God still uses our missteps. He still works through our imperfections. And He calls us not to perfection — but to love.

A line I love from a movie says:

“I won’t make the same mistakes.”

“No — you’re making all new ones.”

I laugh every time, because it’s true.

I might break a pattern from my own upbringing — and then walk headfirst into a brand new mistake of my own. But that’s okay. Because God gives grace. And if He gives it, we can receive it. And we can offer it — to our kids, to ourselves, and to each other.

The first step to repairing with your kids is to repair with yourself.

Not by rejecting the parts of you that feel angry, exhausted, or totally lost — but by getting honest about them. By admitting where it hurts. By telling the truth to yourself and to God.

Because the truth is, we’re all flawed. And before we can heal from that, we have to accept it.

So take a deep breath — the one you’ve been holding in fear that you’re messing it all up.

That you’re not cut out for this. That you’ll never get it right.

You are cut out for this. You are a good mom.

You are human. And that’s okay.

Let go of the lie that perfection is required.

Let go of the pressure to carry it all.

Christ is here — not to criticize, but to carry you.

Not to shame, but to forgive.

Not to demand more, but to pour out grace.

So receive it. Let it wash over your mistakes and your heartache and your guilt. And know: you are not alone in this.

And if you need a little reminder of that — of your beloved, flawed, messy-enough self — you’re always welcome to sit with us.

At Christ Greenfield, MomCo is a space where moms show up as they are. We laugh, cry, vent, share snacks, pray, and encourage each other through every season of motherhood. From the newborn fog to the teenage eye rolls to the quiet grief of empty nesting — you’re not meant to walk it alone.

There’s no pressure. No perfect. Just presence. And grace.

You’re welcome here — truly.

If you’re in a season where family feels a little messy (or a lot), you’re not alone — and you’re so welcome here. As part of our Bless This Mess: Prayers for Messy Families series at Christ Greenfield, we’re creating space for honesty, grace, and growth — in real life and real relationships.

Because all families are messy. Even the family of Christ. And there’s a place here for you.