Medscape, Ministry, and the Myth of Being Ready

“From the hospital to the ministry, I’ve learned the same lesson: knowledge matters, but it won’t carry you when the weight hits. True leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about pointing to the One who does.”

When I graduated from nursing school, I thought I had the tiger by the tail. I had aced my labs, memorized drug cards, and convinced myself I was ready to hit the floor running.

But stepping onto a hospital unit for the first time? It felt less like holding a tiger and more like being eaten by one. I was drowning. All the book smarts in the world didn’t prepare me for the chaos of real patients, real families, and real complications that never fit neatly into the textbook.

For the first two years as an RN, my lifeline was the Medscape app. I kept it open constantly—double-checking labs, drug interactions, side effects, and disease processes. It wasn’t just about information; lives were at stake. If I got it wrong, someone could die. Knowledge mattered, but it wasn’t enough. I had to learn what it meant to care for human beings made in God’s image.

Fast forward a decade, and I found myself finishing seminary. You’d think I would have learned my lesson about “being ready,” but no—I graduated convinced I had theology pretty well handled. After all, I had been parsing Greek verbs, reading Luther, and debating doctrine. Surely this time I had the tiger by the tail.

Wrong again.

The first time I sat across from someone as a pastor—whether in prayer, at Bible study, or leading a men’s group—I felt that same drowning sensation. Seminary gave me knowledge, but ministry requires more. Caring for bodies is weighty, but caring for souls is eternal.

And once again, I found myself reaching for my “Medscape.” Only this time it wasn’t an app—it was Scripture, prayer, godly counsel from mentors, and Spirit-led conversations that refined me. Just like in nursing, book knowledge is crucial, but it doesn’t prepare you for the emotional, spiritual, and relational weight of ministry. You only learn that by showing up, again and again.

This is where leadership comes in. I’ve always gravitated toward leadership roles, but leadership in God’s kingdom is different. At Christ Greenfield, at The Groves Bible study, in our men’s group The Upper Room—I constantly feel the weight of responsibility. And if I’m honest, I often feel unqualified.

But leadership in God’s kingdom has never been about being “enough.” It’s about faithfulness, not perfection. It’s about pointing to the One who is enough.

That’s why Romans 8:28 has become an anchor for me:
God doesn’t call the equipped—He equips the called. Nursing taught me that in the ICU. Seminary taught me that in ministry. Leadership continues to drive it deeper into my heart.

The truth is, I don’t have all the answers. I’m still learning, still fumbling, still looking things up, still leaning on others. And maybe that’s exactly the point. Leadership isn’t about projecting confidence; it’s about practicing dependence—dependence on God, His Word, and His Spirit.

Caring for bodies reminded me of the urgency of life. Caring for souls reminds me of the weight of eternity. Both have taught me that learning is lifelong, growth is uncomfortable, and leadership is often forged in the very places we’d rather avoid.

But both also remind me of this:
I am not enough. But He is.

That’s the only way I know how to lead. That’s the only way any of us can. Whether in church, family, or workplace—don’t wait until you “feel ready.” You won’t. Step in anyway, with trembling hands and a trusting heart. God is faithful to equip those He calls, and His love is always for our good.

So if you catch me scrolling Scripture like it’s Medscape, just know: I’m still learning, still leading, and still trusting. And maybe that’s exactly what true leadership looks like.